The Freedom and Fun of Just Noticing

“Awareness transcends what it is aware of. It is as separate as light is from what it shines upon.” ― Michael Singer, The Untethered Soul​

After some time spent noticing my noticing with pure awareness this month, the first thing I’ve realized is that I don’t practice the pure awareness thing very often (oops, see, I’ve made a judgment). Noticing is almost automatically linked to what’s missing, wrong, not enough, too much in my mind. And this kind of noticing produces “shoulds,” lots and lots of requirements for being okay and enough. The “shoulds” in my life lead me down the well-worn path of worry and anxiety paved with thoughts of “not okay” and “something’s wrong.” And this cranks up the anxiety, especially when it happens in the middle of the night. So, when I turn pure awareness toward these “shoulds” without judgment, just noticing I can check out what’s there. What’s behind and underneath the “should” here? This question is a window into me, the observer me who is deep in my soul and doesn’t change with how old I am, what I’m wearing, how much I weight, who I’m with, what I do, who likes me or doesn’t, or even what mistakes I make. 

When I notice that I am “shoulding” all over myself from the perspective of curiosity I can tap into this observer me, my true essence and ask some more questions. What’s important about this for me? What do I really want here? And from there I can decide if the “should” is actually a “get to” – I get to do this! There’s the freedom of presence and pure awareness. It’s a letting go of figuring it all out, knowing the right answers for certain and it’s jumping into the flow of what’s here now. What do I notice around me with all my senses? What’s happening within me? It’s an exploration that moves with no strings attached. It’s playing with what is, because as I shared last month, acceptance is fun and I’ll add to that, it’s freeing!  

Plus, just observing creates space for fun and laughter. I can see my habits and instead of feeling stuck in them and frustrated by them, have a little laugh with myself. “Oh there I am again” getting a little too into how this might turn out, what this might mean, how I must be better. I can giggle to myself, yep, that’s me in all my perfectly imperfectness.  

As Mary Oliver reminds us in her poem for which my “This Wild & Precious Life” blog is named, The Summer Day, it’s about being here, in this moment, paying attention and embracing the unfolding. 

              “I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down into the grass, how to kneel down in the grass, 
               how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields,  
               which is what I have been doing all day. 
               Tell me, what else should I have done?  
               Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon? 
               Tell me, what is it you plan to do 
               with your one wild and precious life?” 

Let’s practice freedom together for the rest of the month. Notice, just notice. When your judge tries to join the party, notice them too and let them judge without even judging their judgment. Another tongue twister or is it a mind bender? Either way freedom is in letting go of searching for certainty with awareness because it’s not available even if your judge tells you otherwise. It’s freedom to play in the wonder of what is unfolding just by being here and noticing. What do you notice when you just notice? Let’s share stories in the comments.