Comparison is my go-to for understanding where I’m at and most importantly whether I got my A. It’s like I’m constantly grading myself on a curve in comparison to others rather than starting with where I am and grounding in my worth. So that’s the rub.
Just this morning as I was thinking about this post and how to finish it up, it hit me. When I let go of comparison there is space. This space isn’t the space of freedom, it’s more the space of dead air on the radio. Without adding another practice comparison creeps right back in. And this rainy morning it came to me – the new practice is gratitude. When I shift from comparison of how I’m measuring up to gratitude for how I’m thriving and what is here for me right now, I fill the space. Not in a “stuff it full and get smothered” way, instead in a “oh this is it and here I am” way. Gratitude is a balm for my anxious, not enough mind. And all it takes is a new choice which I can make and actually do make at times. I let go of the yardstick, forget about how I measure up for a moment, and choose to be grateful for me and my aliveness. That’s where my energy lives – in me, when I’m just me. I’m not proving that I’m worthy or working hard to be liked – I’m just me. That’s where love lives too. The unconditional love that I was reminded of today in my Positive Intelligence (PQ) focus of the day – it’s the “spot of grace” where I get to be fully alive and you do too. It’s the place that we continue to cover up and uncover again throughout this journey of beauty and pain, joy and sorrow. Caring for myself by stepping out of comparison and into gratitude and acceptance is an act of love. It’s not selfish, it’s what I call self-full – it’s seeing that unique, amazing person who I am and just loving her up, being grateful for all she is. And that’s an opening into deeper relationships with me and you and all those around me. It’s that dratted “simple but not easy” way of being. The practice happens when I’m present, aware, and allowing for the unfolding. It happens in a moment and sometimes it doesn’t. It happens more often when I notice and celebrate this beautiful space of kindness and care for all starting with me. I get to be here now, how cool is that! The beauty of it is that it’s always available to us when we choose. Today I choose to be enough, worthy, and loved. I choose to be grateful and I invite you to do the same. What have you learned about self-compassion this month? Let’s chat in the comments.
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AuthorCaroline Cochran, PhD is a Certified Presence-Based® Coach and a Leadership Development Consultant with over 25 years of experience. Categories
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May 2025
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