Presence Is about Slowing Down and Coming Home

"May your outer dignity mirror an inner dignity of
soul.
Take time to celebrate the quiet miracles that seek
no attention.
Be consoled in the secret symmetry of your soul.
​May you experience each day as a sacred gift woven around the heart of wonder. "
Excerpt from For Presence ― John O'Donohue

​This month I’m thinking about presence. This is not new for me since my Presence-Based Coaching (PBC) training in 2018. Present is what I aspire to be in my work, with my clients, with my family and friends, even and actually most importantly, with myself. It’s simple but not easy to be in the moment. It’s a micro choice of being here, right now, right where I am. And our world is full of distractions from presence – the multitude of devices, the multitude of news stories, ads, websites, the multitude of text messages, the multitude of emails (don’t get me started, my multitude is more than most) all being thrown at me all day long. And then there’s the multitude of to-do’s on my list, the multitude of meetings on my calendar that aren’t distractions at all, however they can be invitations to step away from presence especially when I get in my head and my judge starts prattling on about me, others, what's happening.

Not only is all of this keeping me jumping and worrying but also my brain is keeping me on autopilot which for me is about busy, busy, busy – fit it all in, get it all done and while you are at it don't forget to do it perfectly and make sure everyone is happy too (yes, I do KNOW all that is impossible and yet, that's where my default brain takes me regularly). Every moment we each face an onslaught of sensory, intellectual, and emotional input. Our brains decide what deserves attention and that can depend on many factors, most of which have been baked in since childhood. Old stories and habits that run our lives take us down paths that are well worn. That's definitely where I get stuck, the doing it right, making everyone happy. Phew, it’s a lot!

And this morning as I was finishing my morning run/walk I saw a sign that I've seen countless times. And today I saw it in a new way. It's yellow and black and says "Please Slow Down!" (emphasis added 😀). This sign, put up to protect our children on the residential streets, hit me in a new and deeper way today. Yes, I want to slow down on the roads and what if today it's giving me a message to slow down in my life. Ooh, that's what I need to hear right now, simply slow down. My week has been filled with unexpected happenings including a hospital stay for my just turned 88 year old mom (she's feeling better), an unexpected infection (it's better), some unexpected conversations (good to have), some unexpected national events (not sure when this will get better) and that's when the old habits take over, the worries, the anxiety, the need to fix. When I slow down, take a breath, open to seeing what is and listening for what’s here and what’s next and come back to this present moment that's when I have a moment of peace and that's enough right now. That's the presence I want to come home to.
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Presence is at the center of the Leading from the Inside Out framework that is an integral part of the leadership coaching I do and the women’s leadership program I run and when I choose it the way that I live and work (which is not always the case, full disclosure 😉). In fact, the reason I’m thinking so much about it right now is that a couple of weeks ago I wrote the Presence chapter of my upcoming book (wahoo, I wrote a chapter!) about Leading from the Inside Out. In the process of writing, I was reminded again of why presence is essential as well as why it’s so easy to step away from especially when I'm moving full speed ahead to what's next. Presence is our aliveness and in many, if not most, moments of my life I’m not really, truly noticing being alive (that seems weird but true) I’m just living. Just living, breathing in and out without attention – the lights are on but nobody is really home. Going from one meeting to the next, checking of one more to-do and moving to the next (or sometimes just avoiding the to-do’s and moving from one episode to the next on whatever I’m streaming right now), scrolling through one story/reel to the next can separate me from the ALIVE part of living. I’m going through the motions and not really there. It’s a way of being here/not here – I’m doing all the things and somehow I’m not really in it. I'm not present!

As I blogged about last month my 2025 commitment is to come home to myself, offering grace and love. Slowing down is my way home and it's all wrapped up in presence. It’s the space I need to sense into this moment right now and find the joy in it, the joy of the now. The smiles and laughs from my mom, the calls from the kids, the sunshine on my face, the time to just be – it’s all part of the miracle of presence that’s available when I’m home. Stay tuned for more on my practice of coming home to presence. I’m going to start posting twice a month. Can’t wait? 😆 Let’s connect.