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Shifting from Comparison to Gratitude in the Spot of Grace

5/19/2025

“This is a hard lifelong task, for the nature of becoming is a constant filming over of where we begin, while the nature of being is a constant erosion of what is not essential. Each of us lives in the midst of this ongoing tension, growing tarnished or covered over, only to be worn back to that incorruptible spot of grace at our core.” ― Mark Nepo

This month I’ve been playing with letting go of comparison – noticing it, celebrating the noticing and letting go. This is an opening to trust and transformation. And for me it’s a bumpy road – sometimes it feels impossibly hard to offer compassion to myself and what it is instead is unpracticed, it’s new. As much as I know what the comparison of my judge takes from me, it’s still so solidly conditioned that it’s my go-to way in the world. And that way has lots of downsides and really no upside. It’s funny, it logically makes no sense and yet the familiarity of it brings some hint of comfort that keeps inviting me back. What I’m learning is it’s not only for me that I’m practicing something new. When I let myself be who I am fully and celebrate this, that’s an invitation to those around me to do the same. When I step into the joy of perfectly imperfect with loving arms open to whatever emerges it’s contagious. It’s that invitation into love and that starts within us. It can’t be found within someone else no matter how great our relationships are or within some object no matter how amazing that thing is, it’s only available when we come back to our own selves. And this happens with presence and awareness first. As Mark Nepo tells us it’s our “incorruptible spot of grace at our core.”

What I’ve realized over the last couple of weeks as I’ve paid attention is that this habit of comparison is dug into my way of showing up partly because I’m a really good student (hence the MA and PhD 😉). I take things in quickly, I love to make new connections (both between ideas and people), and I work to apply what I’ve learned. This way of being and learning has served me well and it also has me constantly looking outside myself for the requirements.

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Self-Compassion Minus Comparison Equals Peace

5/5/2025

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“Each person is born with an unencumbered spot, free of expectation and regret, free of ambition and embarrassment, free of fear and worry; an umbilical spot of grace where we were each first touched by God. It is this spot of grace that issues peace.” ― Mark Nepo

May is here! I love May, it’s my birthday month, it’s time for blooming flowers after the April showers (or in the Twin Cities the drama of tornadoes that just missed us last week), the temps are warming in Minnesota (some of the days)! And most importantly it’s time for new beginnings and growth. It’s a perfect, or should I say perfectly imperfect, time to blog about compassion, especially self-compassion. This is my learning edge. And I’ve blogged about self-compassion before as an opening for healing ourselves (talk about grounded grace!) and as a way to be our own best friend (talk about coming home to ourselves!). Self-compassion is at the heart of my 2025 commitment to come home to myself, offering grounded grace and love. So this is my work this year. And I have to say, it’s so simple and still not at all easy for me. As I’ve shared before, my default is to judge and compare myself, and my judge is super talented at finding ways I don’t measure up! In fact, she’s taken it on as a full-time job and she’s killing it. 😂

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This "Wild & Precious Life"

Shifting from Comparison to Gratitude in the Spot of Grace

Self-Compassion Minus Comparison Equals Peace

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